Tag: Humor

My Muses

Have you ever had that moment of clarity, where something you’ve been working on or thinking about suddenly seems easy or a solution appears?

Well, I have those all the time.

It’s my Muse, or Muses (I’m convinced I have several)

My Shower Muse inspires me several times a week when I’m soaking my head under a strong hot shower.

My Car Muse, who used to pop her head out after I hit 75 mph. I don’t see much of her anymore, since I stopped driving in LA. (The Uber Muse hasn’t found me yet!)

My “LNM”,  Late Night Muse usually stays up with me waaaay past midnight. “Inspiration” and “flow” come easy to me late at night. It’s been that way most of my life.

My late night Muse also has an evil side, because she makes me hungry at 2am and I start searching for a snack.

And my favorite Muse of all: My Chocolate Muse.
I’ve lost count of the number of great “upper limit” ideas she gives me while I’m munching on a bar of dark chocolate, or m&m’s.

 

I’d love to hear about your Muses.  Drop me a line, and lets compare notes.

If you need a new Muse, let me know, and you’re welcome to borrow one of mine.

 

All except my chocolate one.

 

If she stops working for me, I might as well stop working…

 

MrOptimum

I got stuff to do…

I don’t have time for this.

…I got stuff to do.

Why is this taking so much of my time?

…I got stuff to do.

Whose idea was this, anyway?

…I got stuff to do.

Wait, this IS part of the stuff I got to do.
Yeah, but I’m not getting paid to do this.
So what. You’re not any good at it anyway.

 

Ok, if you feel that way, I’ll just publish the password and you can go in and erase every word.

Don’t tempt me – I got other stuff to do…

It’s like the canary in the mine shaft

Sometimes I’m the canary, and sometimes I’m the shaft.

 

Today is one of those days that the canary died AND I got the shaft.

One of my largest customers with more than 100 stores filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy, leaving me with a sizable unpaid balance.

 

I’ll be fine, and so will my company. But the array of things, good & bad, that happen on a daily basis never ceasees to amaze me.

 

Some days everything is “SO SMOOTH”. Almost effortless.

 

And some days, not so much.  This was one of those “not so much days.”

 

I feed that damn canary every single day, play with it, sing to it, and clean up after it.

 

And what happens, it goes and dies, keels over to be found lifeless on the bottom of the cage.

 

I’m pretty sick of this metaphor now, so suffice it to say:
“NO MORE PETS”

 

MrOptimum

Motivation

mo·ti·va·tion
/ˌmōdəˈvāSH(ə)n/

noun, adverb, sometimes a kick in the ass

Word Origin:
Moti – from the Greek politician Motissimo who was a sex addict, drunk and Senator.
He was know for having 3 wives, 6 mistresses, and a male concubine, he would visit on a daily basis.   He got very little done as a politician. (obviously things haven’t changed much)

Vation – from the Greek word “invasion”, which means go where you’re not invited.

So when you put the word Moti-vation together it means:

     A drunk, sex addicted asshole screwing everything in sight.

Never a spare moment in Motissimo’s life. He was “truly Motissivated”

Do you really want to be “motivated”?

Your next move

Most people spend more time deciding what their next move is in checkers or poker, than they do about their next move in life.

I’ve made some life-changing decisions quicker than choosing what I want to eat from a menu.  And for the most part, I trust my gut for both…

What’s your next move?  Start small and build.

– Chicken or fish?
– Chocolate chip or oatmeal cookies?
– Stay where you are or move on?
– Make the same amount of money, or look for an increase?
– Mediocrity or Living like a King?

 

No one can make a move for you.

If you’re waiting for a tap on the shoulder, or for someone else to make a decision for you, forget it. It ain’t happening.  It’s all on you.

So, what’s it going to be… Chicken of fish?